This goodbye has been so much easier than our first.....it went so fast and I never saw it's heart beating. Still, it is a cruel thing...being taken on an emotional rollercoaster ride of joy and then loss.
I found out I was pregnant on Thursday. "What are you doing next July 20th?" I asked my husband over the phone. "July 20th? I don't know, why?" "That's the due date of our next baby!"
And then I lost it on Saturday.
So it was two days of excitement and worry.
We both felt that mix of happiness and anxiety that only parents who have lost a baby before truly know.
Maybe having a healthy child here, living, breathing, laughing, causing mayhem and making me laugh and pull my hair out at the same time, makes something like this easier. Having this blessing and being reminded that this is enough. If I never am blessed with a child again, it is enough. I am already so lucky.
So we say 'goodbye' to the tiny little poppyseed-sized bundle of cells and love and possibility, and focus on our blessings.
Thank you....for always sharing in my journey.
xoxoxo
