This is going to be a little tough because it's so personal, but I want to share this first taste of a book I began about a year and a half ago. It's a book for my unborn children. In it, I record bits of advice, recipes, and memories that I hope will guide and amuse them on their way. This introduction explains it all. I write in it very sporadically, when I am so inclined and inspired, and add only my absolute favorite recipes. If you like, I'll share bits and pieces of it with you as it progresses.
How To Find a Four Leaf Clover
recipes and bits of guidance for my children
This book began the day before your father’s thirtieth birthday. You hadn’t been born or even conceived yet, and still, I sat down to write this especially for you. I have no way of knowing how much of it will be useful to you. I can only record what I know; things I find to be useful and important in ways which some people may not understand. Your mother is not a particularly conventional person. After all, I value the skill it takes to make the perfect birthday cake over how to drive a car or operate a drill. I’ve survived (actually thrived) in this world despite my somewhat strange priorities, like mandatory daily walks in nature and an ample supply of butter at room temperature, just in case I suddenly feel the need to bake a batch of cookies.
My biggest priority, however, and one which feels more like instinct than choice, is an abundance of harmony, laughter, and enthusiasm for life. Contentment doesn’t always come naturally; and at times it takes real effort to stay afloat in joy. My highest intention in writing this book is that it will serve as a reminder of all that is good in times when you feel dull, lost, lonely and broken. May it serve as a source of inspiration and enjoyment, in times of happiness and in times of doubt.
As I was saying, it’s the day before your father’s thirtieth birthday, and I’ve been on the lookout for gifts. It’s extremely difficult to shop for your Dad. He has everything he needs, and the things he likes he buys for himself almost immediately. I did find one gift yesterday, a silver ceiling fan with three lights, so that gave me peace of mind. A few years ago during a trip to California we slept in a bed with a ceiling fan above it and Ramon went on and on about it: “This is the best. I need a ceiling fan. One day I’ll have a ceiling fan. There’s nothing like sleeping on a hot night with a ceiling fan.” Alright already! So, a ceiling fan it is. He’ll be very happy about it. I also wrapped a framed wedding photo of myself and our dog Kiki (‘his girls’), and I watercolored and wrote a love letter as I do every year for his birthday. The gift thing was covered.
I put Kiki on a leash and headed out for our daily walk in the woods. We made our way through the forest, past the winding creek and the small bog where tadpoles hatch every spring, and then up and out into the widespread field which covers a sunny hillside. It’s full of summer weeds, wildflowers, and grasses dusty with pollen. Edging the narrow beaten path are green clusters of clover. “How nice it would be to find a four leaf clover for Ramon’s birthday,” I thought, and scanned the clover absently. Sometimes I thought I saw one, but this always ended up to be two clover leaves overlapping one another. After looking for a while I gave up and concentrated on walking up the steep hill.
On our way down, while I was thinking of something totally different and watching my feet trudging through the grass, there it was, nodding among it’s fellow clover: a lovely, tall, perfectly green four leaf clover! To find a four leaf clover, you must concentrate your mind on something else entirely. (This, by the way, is also how one best finds love.) Of course, you can’t go into a concrete parking lot and then say to the Universe, “I’d like a four leaf clover, please,” and hope one will appear in a crack in the asphalt. (This, by the way, is like hoping to find true love at a bar. Not likely.) No, that won’t work. What I am suggesting is that you go where there is an abundance of clover, walk there, and think of something else. If you are meant to see one of the four leaf clovers that are out there, you will.
A few words about deliberate four leaf clover hunting: this is a technique which my father has exercised a few times. Sitting in a clover patch and brushing his hand over the tops in hopes of finding a luck-bringing specimen. And I’ll admit, it has worked. But the feeling is never quite as satisfactory. You approach it like, “I better find a four leaf clover, cause I sure am working hard at finding one.” If you don’t, you feel defeated. If you do, it doesn’t feel like luck, it feels like something you earned. It loses a part of its magic. In this case, the only way to get the full magnitude of magic back is to give the four leaf clover away as a gift. There isn’t a person on earth who doesn’t feel honored to receive a four leaf clover, pressed and dried, neatly placed in a little box or between the pages of a special book. I put your father’s between thick paper and a clear sheet of plastic. On the back of the paper it reads:
“Walking through the field today, the day before your birthday, I thought how nice it would be to find a four-leaf-clover for you. I looked and looked-nothing. Then, just when I forgot, there it was! Just like our love, I found it when I least expected it. Did you know that you are my very own living good luck charm?”
I knew, walking home with the four leaf clover safely in the palm of my hand, that I wanted to write you this letter, this long, long letter, all about life and magic and finding your personal fulfillment. About how to make the best of your life, or at least, how I am making the best of mine. Mostly, I want you to know that this book, this letter, is the result of the love I have for your father...of which you are also a most wonderful result.
One last thing. I have little patience for people who think their way is the only way. I hope you will always keep in mind that the advice contained within these pages isn’t meant to tell you what to do. There are some things which you will disagree with, recipes you won’t like, or other methods you will find more efficient. No, this book is not the way, maybe even not the best way. It’s just my way, the way that has formed and fed me, the way which agrees with my soul and keeps me fresh. So please, feel free to find fault in this advice of mine. I can only assure you that what I write is what is true to my heart.
Thanks for reading, blog buddies!
I'm hugging you all, virtually :)
xo country girl
