I would take you by the hand, dear reader....

What an unexpected, beautiful surprise, now at the end of the year, to discover a completely new path in the woods. As you know, I walk our dogs every day. And I admit, our usual dirt roads have begun to lose some of their magic for me, considering I see those same trees and logs and bushes every day, and now is the season where things look the same for a long, long time. Bare, brown, wet. Beautiful, yes, but I wasn't feeling as excited to take our morning walks anymore. 

There is a wooded hillside that we look at from our kitchen window, and when we moved here, we saw a large herd of wild boar digging their snouts through the snow, looking for food in deep winter. Although this was a beautiful sight, looking out from the within our warm, secure home, it made me a bit afraid of that part of the forest. Then some other dog owners told me there were also a lot of deer in those parts. This all made me hesitant to enter the woods on that side, and so years have gone by with a whole area of wilderness that I had never explored right in front of us. 

I had a morning off the other day and was feeling a mixture of bored of my regular walks, and brave enough to try something new. I thought, Today is the day, I'm going to finally have a look at those woods...I need inspiring to take photographs of!

I headed into unknown territory, going up the steep path that was ankle deep with fallen leaves. At first I wasn't very impressed; it was basically the same as the other way I go every day. But then I noticed that there was sky shining from behind the trees up at the top of the hill, and I got curious about what was on the other side. I went quicker, motivated by curiosity, noticing how happy the dogs were to have a fresh path to sniff. 

Finally I reached the top and the thin path I had been on joined a wide dirt road. The sky was big and there were birds fluttering and chirping in that wide open space. A valley, tall grasses bleached by the cold, dry brown thistles and gigantic piles of logs. Silvery birch, bare and blue against the tan, camel hillside. My heart was beating fast as I took pictures. I was dumfounded that this beauty was right behind my home. 

If I could, I would take you there. I would take you by the hand, dear reader, and lead you up the papery path, up up up, til the trees spread and the sky stretches and you feel small under a big sky. You feel far away from the cars and houses. Time stops. There is only sky, birds, trees, tall grass, and the road under your feet.

At the first chance I took Rafael and Ramon to see it. 

I want you to know how happy I am to have this new place to photograph, to share with you. The next four seasons will be so much sweeter because of this.

xoxoxo

Late Fall

As I write this, Rafael is cuddled up on the couch with a fever watching Handy Manny, and the first snow is falling outside, leaving everything covered in white. We rolled out sticky brown dough this morning and baked up foxes, stars, and hedgehogs, and now our home has the deep spicy scent of gingerbread. The dogs are snoring. We are still in our pajamas. 

These photos were taken a few days ago before Rafael fell sick, at the local nature park. There are deer and wild pigs, and now that the cold weather had settled in, there are huge piles of sugar beets that you can feed to them. Raffi and his cousins loved climbing over the sugar beets, picking out the biggest ones, and giving them to the deer and pigs. Rafael said he was 'working,' which meant taking beets from one pile and bringing them to another. I was so glad that the large deer buck came to us, eating the roots from our hands, letting me take some photos of him with his herd.

Thank you all for the words that came from your hearts. I felt the warmth and comfort in them. This year has been incredibly difficult and at times very dark for me, from beginning to end. There are some things I haven't shared here because they are too personal and painful. But you have always been here, a source of light and support. I am very grateful.

Now, when Raffi is sick, it is time for patience, cuddling, reading books, and waiting. I can hardly wait to get out into the snowy woods!

xoxoxo 

The Most Out Of Life

"One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure."

-William Feather

I have days when I feel that I am not doing enough, not making enough out of my life. I am sure there are so many people who feel this way, and I believe a lot of it has to do with the fact that, through social media, we see all the things other people are doing, achieving, and acquiring. All the things other people are cooking, crafting, remodeling, improving, and creating. It can be inspiring. And also overwhelming. 

I am doing my best, and when I remind myself of this, I can, for at least a little while, forgive myself for not being the mom who wakes up early to bake scones; the one who bakes all her own bread and tends a huge organic garden, all while raising five children and running a successful, impeccably designed etsy shop filled with her beautiful, ornate handmade things. She's probably writing and illustrating a cook book too. And has thousands of followers on her blog. And lives in a renovated old farmhouse. All things I think I should be doing and having, and don't. All things I think would make my life complete, make me whole, make me happy. But can't I decide to be complete, whole, and happy right now, in this very moment?

I have so much to be grateful for, and when I have an attitude of gratitude, I can breath again. 

When I focus on what my best is at this moment, and stop looking around at what other people are doing, I feel so much better!

When I forgive myself for not being perfect, I can move on and just keep doing my best. 

My life is a series of constant blessings. When I remember to think of it as such, the feelings of inadequacy and frustration drop away. 

We are enjoying gorgeous, golden days here. It's incredible, living a life in a peaceful country, with enough of everything, with a roof, a family, friends, time, food, love. For all these things, I am grateful!

xoxoxo

Autumn

There was a time when I led a long-distance relationship with my now-husband. Back then, he would take a seven-hour train ride from Vienna to Frankfurt to visit me, and as we ran to each other at the train station, showering each other with kisses, I was at once happy and terribly sad, because I knew we would be back at the train station in a few days, saying goodbye. 

In autumn, I am revisited by that very same feeling. I can never simply enjoy the glowing hillsides...the way the sky fills with papery leaves when there is a gust of wind...the purples and crimsons and bright yellows...or the fallen leaves outlined with delicate frost. Because, while I am gulping in all of the breathtaking beauty, I am also aching, knowing this will all be gone so soon. 

Today I thought: I can't keep you, autumn...but I can hold you in my heart. And I picked the prettiest red and yellow leaves to press between book pages. A small way of preserving my most favorite season.

xoxo

A Playgroup In the Woods

The fort pictured here is something I built together with Rafael, his cousins, and his grandma and grandpa the past couple of weeks. We would stop there on our walks in the woods to eat little picnics, always adding more sticks and leaves. We were there so often that a little path formed leading up to it.

While sitting there with Rafael and his best friend Flo the other day, I thought of how nice it would be to share this spot, and the experience of playing in the woods, with other children. I quickly created a website, set a date, and invited all the local mothers I know. And on Tuesday, a freezing cold autumn day with blue skies, 18 of us gathered in the forest to play. 

This will be a weekly meet-up, year round, rain or shine. I am so happy that I went ahead and quickly organized this....usually I weigh the pros and cons about things for ages before taking action. This time, I just figured I have nothing to lose. 

I have many ideas for things I would like to try out in the future; games, snacks, rituals. 

But the kids were really happy just being out in the elements, and having a little tree fort as their base. 

It's definitely fall here. Freezing cold temperatures (we had our first frost this morning) and leaves turning yellow and red. I am craving baked goods, soups, roasts, and frothy hot chocolate. You too?

xoxoxo