friendship requirements??

For a very long time, I had specific ideas about friendship, and about what I needed and even expected from friends. I was often disappointed, and sometimes even ended a friendship because I didn't feel the other person was either holding up their end of the relationship, or they just weren't bringing anything positive to my life. I'm beginning to realize that, while it's true that you shouldn't hang on to connections that drag you down or stress you out, there are times when it may be best to really weigh the pros and cons of a frienship, and be more forgiving. 


My husband has told me on numerous occasions that I expect much too much from friends, and that I put myself in a position to be hurt and disappointed. I used to respond to this by saying that I knew what I had to offer as a friend, and that if I didn't feel an equal amount of energy flowing back to me, it was a sign that I needed to move on. I even chastised my husband because he was so forgiving of his best friend, who did some things I would never have put up with. When I got upset and asked why he would stay friends with someone who has been dishonest with him, he said: "Because I know what to expect from certain people, and what not to expect."


Hmmm!
That gave me alot to think about.
Was I setting high standards? Was I expecting too much? 


I have a friend, we'll call her Linda. Linda knows alot about a particular subject which really interests me and shares this information. We walk our dogs together and swap recipes. I've learned interesting things from her, and she has also shown me very beautiful places surrounding this neighbourhood.


But Linda never asks how I am doing. And when I told her about my miscarriage, she responded with "Oh, that's hard, but you know, animals lose babies all the time, I guess it's a part of nature," and never asked how I was feeling in the days that followed. She spends alot of time complaining about her relationship, or explaining why certain job opportunities wouldn't work before she has even given them a chance. 


The old me would have probably ended the friendship, or at least let it slowly simmer away. But the new me focuses on the positive aspects of the relationship. My husband suggested that, instead of looking for everything I want from each individual friend, I should begin appreciating the positive parts of people, and be forgiving, and even compassionate, about the parts which I don't really like.

Here are some pictures from today's walk with the friend I mentioned. It was beautiful, with many little discoveries. And I thought, if I had ended this friendship, I wouldn't have seen these things today.

feeding station for the wild deer and birds

anyone home? a clever mouse built it's home right next to the feeding station

a piece of wasp's nest in a hay bale

hunter's look-out

the first stinging nettle buds of the year; soon we can eat it in salads and strudels

haybales

first lesser celandine of the year, high in vitamin c!

Tell me about your friendships, about what is important to you.

I would love to hear your thoughts.

xoxo country girl

potato leek soup

I bought lovely potatoes and slender young leeks at the farmer's market last Friday and knew immediately that I wanted to try making a creamy potato leek soup. It's perfect 'soup weather' now, a mix of wind, sun, cold, and rain showers. This soup is comforting, warming, and so delicious. Plus, I found a way to make a creamy soup without using loads of actual cream...the solution is so simple!

country girl's original Potato Leek Soup

1 pound potatoes*, peeled and cubed into bite-size pieces

2 leeks, washed of debris, sliced thin up until the dark green leafy part which you can save for stock; I used 3 leeks, because they were very thin and young.

6 cups chicken or vegetable stock I used water and buillon cubes

2 Tablespoons unsalted butter

1/3 cup heavy cream

salt and pepper

Boil potato cubes in broth until tender, with a lid askew on the pot to prevent too much loss of moisture.

While potatoes are boiling, melt 2 tablespoons in a pan over medium heat. 

Add sliced leeks to butter in pan, sprinkle with a pinch of salt, and cook until soft, being careful not to brown.

When the potatoes are tender, use a slotted spoon to remove a little less than half of the potato cubes to a bowl.

Puree or mash the remaining potatoes in pot with broth until smooth. This gives the soup a wonderfully creamy texture, so that you don't have to add alot of cream!

Return the whole potato cubes to the pot, along with the cooked leeks.

Turn off the heat.

Add the cream. Stir to combine.

Add salt and pepper to taste.

Optional Addition: 

Fry slices of bacon in an ungreased pan until crisp; allow to cool on a plate; crumble over soup.

*click here to see the best types of potatoes for soup

...and HERE is where you can find the Typhoon scale in my photos, along with other really cute ones, on amazon.

As humble as it's ingredients are, and as simple as it looks, this soup makes me wish I would never get full just so I could keep eating it. It's that good.

xoxo country girl

turning a new corner

Sometimes I like to turn a new corner when out on my daily walks with Kiki. No corner is really new here for me, but these are ever-changing along with the seasons, and I've noticed that just taking a few steps in a different direction can present you with surprises. Clusters of fern, a red mushroom, a small waterfall. Sometimes there are patches of a certain kind of flower which you will only find in one particular spot. I am sure this has to do with scientific things like sunlight and soil constitution. But when I happen upon something rare, it feels miraculous and special.

March is the time to search the ground....there are so many things going on there. November's layers of leaves protect and feed new life, which I find fascinating. For as clichè as it may sound, it is true: the wheel of life is nowhere so evident as in nature, where fresh life springs from the remains of death, only to eventually die and be the source of life for the following generation.

You can find the most change now by brushing aside dead foliage and searching the edges of creek beds. For someone who takes no notice of the tiny (but remarkable) changes, spring must seem to leap up in blossoms and bird song sometime in mid April! But for the observant person, spring creeps up in an almost mysterious manner these next few weeks. This is the time of year when one should take advantage of the places in nature which will soon be inaccessible once the vines and underbrush flourish. I take some of my longest walk at this time, down deer paths and along singing creeks, searching for the first spring shoots and flowers, frogs and salamanders, duck nests and toad eggs. 

While I brush aside leaves and stand still listening to the hawks cry, Kiki is busier than ever. The entrance holes to field mice hovels are now finally uncovered, and the perfect size for a spaniel snout to poke around in but not do any real damage.

Here you see a mouse hole in the middle of wild strawberry vines. What a clever mouse, living with fresh berries growing at a tail's length!

This is the look Kiki gives me when I distract her for a portrait. "Ugh, you with your camera!"

Right before leaving the hillside which dives steeply down to the creek, I found this skeletal leaf in a tree crevace, so frail and beautiful. Simple and intricate at the same time.

So while we look forward to the trembling and bursting of new growth, we also say a thank you to the things which have passed, and give sustenance to that new life.

Thank you for your notes, I have never felt so connected to a community. I am happy to share the seasons with you.

xo country girl

why do i blog?

I've been thinking about blogs, and blogging, this evening, after going on my usual blog-round, as well as discovering a few new ones. You know how it goes....you find yourself on a blog and wonder, 'How did I get here again?'

Sometimes I find a blog I think is beautiful, with nice pictures and interesting posts...and then I see that they have something between 400 and 700 followers, and I wonder if I should even leave a comment. Won't it just get lost in a sea of other comments? These are usually the blogs where they post about their home decor, or feature photographs and items from other artists or shops, as I do sometimes. On these blogs, there is rarely anything you could call personal. Which is fine! I like visiting these blogs sometimes. But honestly, these aren't the bloggers who I personally feel most connected with, and who become good friends and daily allies. 

Then you find those rare jewels...those people who spill their souls into the written word, who share simple or profound pictures....and these people sometimes have 2, 5, or maybe 20 followers. And you gladly leave a note of gratitude for their sharing, and you feel like you have just had a nice visit with a kindred spirit.

I have come to understand that every blogger comes here with a different agenda, and with a different goal. Some to gain popularity and find like-minded people, some to share their hearts or arts, and others who, seemingly involuntarily, achieve both.

This brings me to the question stated in this post's title: Why do I blog?

This questions arises whenever I know I would like to post something, but am not decided on what. I often start out with the thought: "I wonder what would interest my readers?" And then I quickly ax that question with this statement: "I am not posting to please. I am posting what is in my heart, and on my mind." This statement has been what has kept this blog a sanctuary for me.

So I have decided: I blog to spread joy. To connect. To have those snap!, aha!, exactly! moments. To meet other people who love the same things I do. To record the seasons. To motivate the photographer inside of me. To have fun. And to constantly be made accutely aware of my many blessings.

I wonder why you blog?

Sending bloggy love to you,

xoxo country girl

"The really important thing about the first few days of March isn't the temperature, or the wind, or the rain or snow, or the clear blue sky-when it is clear and blue. The important thing is the sunlight, almost eleven and quarter hours of it now between sunrise and sunset. Right there, in that sunlight, are the potentialities, the beginnings, actually, of spring and summer and autumn, of sprouting and growth and ripeness." - Hal Borland, Book Of Days

Today we are enjoying perfect March weather: strong wind, warm sun, and a clear periwinkle sky. Grass is lifting from the ground, where it was pressed under thick layers of ice and snow all winter. Kiki has been enjoying tromping through swampy thawed water and damp carpets of leaves on the forest floor. I'm keeping my eye out for waking salamanders and crocus spears...nothing yet. We do have snow drops, primulas, and earthworms, and I've seen spiders speeding through the grass. Soon I'm sure I'll spot ladybugs and slugs. Small signals of spring's arrival.

I purchased lovely red-skinned potatoes and slender, young leeks last Friday at the farmer's market; I'll be putting them in a tasty soup today. I'm also making Jamie Oliver's "best winter veg coleslaw" with the fennel bulb, celeriac, and radishes that were included in last week's organic box delivery. This salad is crisp, creamy, and delicious, and uses the produce of the season, which I love. It's so simple and healthy. Something about the weather changing has inspired me in the kitchen, given me a new spark of motivation.

Ramon and I spent our 11th anniversary weekend at home, relaxing, napping, taking walks in the soupy fields, playing with Kiki, and talking. (Above you can see the beautiful 11 roses he gave me for our anniversary.) We remembered the day we lost our baby last November, the pain and scarring it marked us with, and both expressed fear for a future pregnancy. We have decided to start trying again in April, and mixed in with the excitement and hope is the nervous fear of another loss, another trauma. I am grateful that we are in this together, that it's not something I am faced with alone. Still, one wonders what lies ahead....will there be more disappointment and letting go, more hard lessons and grief? Will we be blessed with life, with a healthy baby? These thoughts and questions follow me in all I do, all day. I see the sun shining, and take joy in the small simple things, but underlying everything there are those questions and that fear.

How are you all doing? I want to welcome the newest readers here, I am constantly astounded and touched by the kind and thoughtful notes you leave here. What a blessing to be connected to intelligent, creative, and compassionate people from around the world! I want to thank everyone for respecting that this is a very private, honest space for me, where I share many of my thoughts and a piece of my heart. It's scary every time I do, and then my heart just swells when I read the things you have to say to me, and I know that I always want to be honest and speak my truth, because as frightening as it can be, it is what truly bonds us.

Happy March everyone! Let's enjoy it together.

xoxo country girl

nests in a dozen beautiful ways

With March approaching and the snow melting, birds have begun to once again fill the air with their sweet melodies. The black amsel serenades the melting-sorbet sunset again, and I know spring can't be far away.

I love the intricate weaving and secrecy of nests, and I love the shiny blue or speckled eggs inside.

I went in search of beautiful nests to share with you, and loved what I found.

:: printed card, handmade on peconic bay  ::

:: wedding favor, martha stewart weddings :: cupcake, dahlia bakery  ::

:: felted titmouse couple in handmade nest, gotcrowcreations  on etsy ::

:: nest with truffle-filled eggs, williams-sonoma  :: handblown nest bell jar, williams-sonoma  ::

:: tiny woodland terrarium robin's nest necklace, woodlandbelle  on etsy :: aqua nest tile coaster, robotcandy  on etsy ::

:: modern nest party favor project, country living  :: pussy willow nest project, martha stewart  ::

:: blue bird nest soap set, loveleesoaps  on etsy :: robin egg ornaments in nest, jenniferarndt  on etsy ::

The beauty of it all!

Though, the most lovely of all nests are those built by careful beaks of wild birds.

Those are free....and priceless.

Tonight the moon is so full and round, white and gray in a pastel evening sky.

The earth is sopping wet and so full of promise and potential.

It was so warm on my walk to the grocery store this afternoon that it seemed strange that the trees didn't have their leaves on yet.

All in due time.

So far, I've seen ten wild primulas, two earthworms, and the beginnings of snow drops in a neighbour's yard.

And I brought home the most tender head of bib lettuce....I was no less pleased than I would have been with a giant rose. It's leaves like petals, it's center a fist of delicate crisp folds.

I'm swooning over lettuce.....it must be spring!

Right now, in this moment as I sit here writing, there is a bird outside my window singing the most lovely melody as the sky grows dark. I have missed bird song this long winter!

Hubby is picking up chinese take-out.

We're cozying in for the german version of American Idol. It's very entertaining, and we have our contestant who we're hoping and calling for. This is him singing I'll Be There if you're interested!

He's had a hard life, comes from nothing, and is so talented...we hope his dreams come true.

xoxo country girl

11 Years of Blessed Love

Thank you, Universe, for these 11 years of love, dedication, and friendship!

The photograph above is from the first summer of love that Ramon and I shared.

We could have only guessed and hoped back then that we would be together for a long, long time.

I lived in America, he lived in Austria.

We were oceans apart.

But here we are, eleven years later, living in our home of comfort and laughter, with our playful cavalier Kiki, and parents to our dear angel baby Blueberry in heaven.

So many things have happened, we've learned and changed and grown.

I love who I am in the eyes of my husband.

And of course, I love him!

Happy 11th Anniversary, Sweet Husband!

Brittan Butterfly, you are the lucky winner of the four leaf clover!

xo country girl