Saturday, October 29, 2011


Autumn is here in all it's colorful glory. The foliage is taking it's time this year, which I appreciate. I don't remember to bring my camera on every walk these days, but when I do, there is always something beautiful to capture. 

This has been my first chance to go online since I wrote my last blog post and I am touched by the loving comments you all left for me here. It's been a very trying and rewarding time, and continues to be. Rafael has been gaining wonderfully, now weighing just over four kilos. He is a very happy baby, blessing us with his sunny smiles during the day and warm soft cuddles at night.

The difficulty now lies in finding the right way to go forward, as far as feeding Rafael goes. I am juggling many different opinions about this and it's not easy knowing what to do, who to listen to. I am inclined to listen to my own gut, but the fact that this didn't lead me in the right direction before is making me insecure about that. I've been close to tears a few times now, so frustrated by the conflicting advice and the stress that overcomes me when I don't follow it because it isn't what feels right. 

Today I spoke with a midwife who recommended something wonderful: naked nursing. I went home, undressed my little boy down to his diaper, and took off my top. We snuggled down under a warm comforter and I nursed him for half an hour, taking in his lovely baby smell and holding his soft back with my hand. The midwife told me that our skin contact would help build more milk, besides being a precious way to bond. It was so special!

So, I have yet to build back up complete faith in my mother's instinct, but I am finding my way.

And falling more in love with my son every day.



  1. Oh Dawn... he is so beautiful! And he looks gorgeous in his dinosaur suit, as i knew he would!! Perfect little will both find the way that's right for you two. Love you xoxox Rachel

  2. This post has me smiling and teary eyed at the same time. What a sweetie pie Rafael is. I think the idea of naked nursing is a wonderful one, a special time of bonding.

    Love and hugs to you dear Dawn.


  3. Hi Dawn,

    I just thought I'd mention Dr. Thomas Cowan of San Francisco in regards to nourishment advise. He is on the board of the Weston A. Price Foundation, and is an MD with an expertise in traditional nutrition. Perhaps he could help you discover the best option for feeding Raffi.

    Also, there are recipes in Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon for nutrient dense traditional baby formula.

    Best wishes,


  4. Oh Dawn.. Rafael is so darling! I know what a busy time this is for you! But those photos that you did take are astounish! Beautiful! Makes me wish I were there!

    I know you will figure this out!

    Bless you,
    xoxo Gert

  5. He is so adorable, what a lucky mother you are!

  6. Hi !! Dawn I hope that everything with Raffi and he's feeding regulates and I don't have kids jet but i could relate to when u get so many different information and u get overwhelm . but be positive with what u think and believe is right and also to what your Doctor think is right .

    Have a Nice Weekend !!!

    ps Raffi is adorable and I just love your pictures :)

    Mary ... Chicago ill

  7. I am so happy to hear that Raffi is gaining and doing well. And want to hear soon that you have confidence in yourself. I am very happy to see a new post from you.

  8. Bravaaaa, I'm so happy for you, I'm a grandmother now and after never being sure I was a good or the best mother I could be, the same happens with my being a good nonna, but when children smile at you everything seems to be perfect


  9. What a lovely Autumn Dawn. Just wanted to say: instincts are a fascinating mixture of subconscious and conscious learning as well as bodily drives. They need to be looked at analytically and judged, but also respected and nurtured.
    There is no question that breastfeeding would be best if you can find a way to persevere without putting Rafael's and your health at risk. The odds are in your favour!
    And yay for naked nursing!
    Best wishes

  10. Rafael looks healthy and happy and definitely thriving. Love all your pictures, as always they are stunning. I love the ones of Raffi of course and the toad stools. The trees are so beautiful. We got 3-4 inches of snow today so don't know if our Autumn has been cut short or will resume when snow melts. Very weird weather.
    And yes, yay for naked nursing! Glad it's helping.

  11. I just want to hold him myself!!! Naked nursing sounds amazing...and skin contact is so very important. Yes, trust your can always continue to check in with your midwife, newer books and trusted online sources, but YOU are the wonderful mom....and you will learn his signals more and more each day....

  12. It's good to read this, Dawn. There so many things to figure out in the first year (or two, or three), but you gather information as you go and it gets easier. Of course, just when you get one phase figured out, he'll be onto the next, but that's part of the fun :-)



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