Autumn is here in all it's colorful glory. The foliage is taking it's time this year, which I appreciate. I don't remember to bring my camera on every walk these days, but when I do, there is always something beautiful to capture.
This has been my first chance to go online since I wrote my last blog post and I am touched by the loving comments you all left for me here. It's been a very trying and rewarding time, and continues to be. Rafael has been gaining wonderfully, now weighing just over four kilos. He is a very happy baby, blessing us with his sunny smiles during the day and warm soft cuddles at night.
The difficulty now lies in finding the right way to go forward, as far as feeding Rafael goes. I am juggling many different opinions about this and it's not easy knowing what to do, who to listen to. I am inclined to listen to my own gut, but the fact that this didn't lead me in the right direction before is making me insecure about that. I've been close to tears a few times now, so frustrated by the conflicting advice and the stress that overcomes me when I don't follow it because it isn't what feels right.
Today I spoke with a midwife who recommended something wonderful: naked nursing. I went home, undressed my little boy down to his diaper, and took off my top. We snuggled down under a warm comforter and I nursed him for half an hour, taking in his lovely baby smell and holding his soft back with my hand. The midwife told me that our skin contact would help build more milk, besides being a precious way to bond. It was so special!
So, I have yet to build back up complete faith in my mother's instinct, but I am finding my way.
And falling more in love with my son every day.