Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Only Corner of the Universe





"The only corner of the universe you can be certain of improving is yourself."
-Huxley

It's funny how, just after writing about not having time to think, I have to admit to my mind being full of thoughts these past couple of days. So much so that I at times feel disconnected to what is going on at home, with Rafael. Winter has always been a time of deep self-reflection for me, and I suppose that is the case even now with a busy toddler. I find myself staring into space, while Raffi chirps and runs around with his toys and plastic containers and books, thinking about the year ahead, about a sibling for Rafael, about how the dogs don't get enough exercise, about how I want to cook better dinners for my husband, about my sister who is expecting her first baby in March, and about how I feel a bit disconnected to my friends at the moment because we all switch off having sick husbands and babies and don't see one another regularly. 

I also think about how it has become increasingly difficult for me to express myself here in the written word. There are so many things I would like to share, but when I am tired at the end of the day, and my brain is scattered, I sit and wonder, What part of my life should I write about, and how can I write it? How will it be received? I never want to sound like I am complaining, but I know that I do. I am living the life of my dreams....all of you who have been reading this blog for a long time know that. So I am letting you know now: I am truly blessed, and know that I have been showered with good fortune. Is it still ok for me to be honest about exhaustion and worries? I always hope you understand.

The snow and ice are so beautiful. We are usually alone in the woods these days. Not many people appreciate the raw beauty of winter. As we walked this morning, me being extra careful not to slip on the icy way, I thought about the salamanders, curled up in the dark underground, and the squirrels, in their balls of leaves and moss up in the tree tops. Animals all around us, but invisible and sleeping. I found deer tracks in the snow, and made a note to bring apple cores and oats tomorrow.

'Til next time....

xoxoxoxo

17 comments:

  1. Dawn, what beautiful pictures! This is a beautiful post! I love your "corner of the universe!" You express yourself so very well, and I am always thrilled when I have your notice on my Blogger page.
    Hugs, Nellie

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  2. I understand what you say - I too have an active little boy (he's two) and feel that I really have it all, but even with that the days can be long and sometimes a challenge. It is completely OK to acknowledge that even in the middle of the "perfect" life you will have bad days. And this is your blog so you can say so! It's your place to express what you want, good bad ugly and all. But yes, it sure can be hard after an exhausting day, right?? Love your pictures. They truly show how beautiful winter really is!

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  3. Hi Dawn, I also understand how you are feeling, I believe every mother feels like that at some point, I think that's the curse of being an adult, our minds just never let us relax, and enjoy the here and now moments that we get with our children, maybe that is why we all say how fast time flies, because we have been so busy "somewhere" else. Just know that you are not alone, we all love to come to your little corner, and hear what is in your head. I absolutely love to see Rafael on his walks, with his apple, pure bliss!

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  4. If we can't complain, then we are all in trouble - LOL! It is very easy to see that, overall, you are a happy, kind, truly appreciative person.

    BTW, the other day, I saw an ad for little booties for dogs and I thought about the extra work they can cause during bad weather. Wondered if you had ever tried booties for them, to keep their paws clean after walks. I have never used them, but thought I'd mention it.

    Keep it real, Dawn!:) Love your blog,
    Elise

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  5. Of course it is okay to write about it all... the good and the bad...we can all relate to it. Motherhood is beautiful and busy and a bit of a blur (all at once). Love to you always.

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  6. Among the many qualities you have is writing! I always look forward to read your blog. You write so well! It is like reading a book,so everydayish but also so spiritual,so true and so full of magic and at the same time so real. You have the quality of describing your everyday life so that everyone of us recognize themself in it.Keep up the good work.I love you.Your are family.
    Carla

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    Replies
    1. Carla, thank you for these words, they go straight to my heart!

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  7. Great post...again!
    I belong to a fellowship in which sharing my challenges and whatever little progress I make to stay current with my feelings, intentions and actions of of great importance. BY doing that, I know I'm not alone, like someone said above, I also keep a clear inventory of what needs attention and love in my life.
    There are many ways to have an experience of the truth, sharing with kindred souls and kinship is one of the most joyful...I so enjoy reading your words, they show me a gracious mind flow and helps me to celebrate the good company as my great fortune and wealth.
    You are so beautiful! Beautiful Heart.

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  8. Dear Dawn,
    I follow your blog since I found you on The Bump a few years ago (I think it was 2008 or 2009) and it's one of the blogs I most enjoy. You always share so beautiful pictures with us, but it's your great, and most important, your honest writing that keeps me coming back to your little space! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!
    Greetings from Kärtnen,
    Kathi

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  9. It is good that you appreciate these good times and you are aware of them. Things ebb and flow and you just keep moving. We'll be here with you all the way. xxx

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  10. No ones world is always coming up roses so it is okay to express discontent, sorrow, disappointment, confusion and more. It is all a part of being human. Feel free to express it. I am sure there are many out there who will know how you feel as they have been there.

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  11. As the year draws to a close I would like to tell you how blessed I feel to have found your blog by chance last year. I'm a busy mum of 3 beautiful chn in Australia & I don't have the time or feel the need to go searching for blogs but the notes & photos you share about your life are completely addictive & bring me so much joy & appreciation for this wonderful journey that is life. It must feel a bit strange; complete strangers telling you that you have this affect upon our lives & that we feel a connection with you & your journey but that comes about from your generosity - sharing your life, trials, tribulations & your passion for nature & life in general. I don't know you personally but I feel your sadness when you tell me you're sad & your joy when you notice the sublime in the nature, beauty & life that surrounds you. Thank you Dawn for being you. I wish we were neighbours & friends but alas, I can only admire & appreciate you from a distance. Bless your beautiful heart & eye for the exquisite. Have a wonderful Christmas with your beautiful family & may the New Year bring you more peace, happiness & joy than you have ever known. You just don’t realise how special you are! God bless xx K-L

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    Replies
    1. Dearest K-L,
      You wrote me this message in the midst of some difficult days, and I am so grateful to you. I wonder sometimes if the people who read this blog know how their notes uplift me, make me feel understood, and can cheer me up when I'm blue. It's such a wonderful thing!
      Thank you!
      Dawn

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  12. I have my nipotina with me for a while and life has changed and makes me think of mine when my children were like her, so I understand wht's going on in your life twice, as grandma and mum, like before I never never stopped dreaming and also writing, together with growing vegs and breathing life outdoors, I know the best thing we can do is not to be severe with what we do but let ourselves do the best we can with what we have, recognize the good ingredients life put at our disposal and not use th ones which gave us problems ...... this is how from being girls we become women, then mamme and nonne ........... always dreaming and writing, tasting and making our children/grandchildren taste life
    Buon Natale Dawn you are on the right way
    ciao Mada

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  13. Oh Dawn..First, I'm sorry for the lateness on replying to this post! This is a beautiful post...your photos are always amazing! And don't worry about sharing your frustrations with us..it seems winter, babies and fatigue have a way of tiring a person. We've all been there...and truly understand!

    Blessings,
    Gert

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  15. I hope you and your husband are feeling well. Just wanted to say how much I adore the sweet picture of Rafael eating his apple on one of your walks in the woods. Also, I thought you might enjoy this post from the Daily Dish. Rafael is so lucky to have a Mommy who takes him out for adventures in the beautiful outdoors. Happy New Year to you and your lovely little family. http://andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com/2013/01/forest-therapy-ctd.html

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