Rafael has begun pointing things out to me: trains, airplanes, birds, bugs, the night lamp in his room that turns with pictures of hot air balloons, Boston, and Kiki. I love it so much, and this is my favorite age so far. I feel like it is the beginning of direct communication.
I am aware, so acutely aware, of how quickly my baby is growing into a little boy. Time is passing so quickly. I am trying to capture it in little moments, and keep the simple, precious memories safe in my heart.
Everything so fresh and wet with rain. The clouds parted and the sky was suddenly bright and blue. We headed out into the woods and I was so happy to have my camera with me. I've missed going into the deep forest and exploring, looking for bugs and flowers and acorns, and taking photographs of them. When I have Rafael in the stroller, it's not really possible. But when he's in the carrier with his Papa, I have my hands free, and we can walk narrow paths, muddy ways, steep hills. It's such a joy for me...my favorite thing...walking in nature and capturing the beauty I find there.
What a day! We were invited to my friends Daniela's home on the lush green outskirts of town. The last time we visited her was to make Advent wreaths last November, a merry event which I posted about here. Today I was able to explore the sprawling estate under a hot summer sun, including a vegetable garden, an orchard, and a large swimming pond with water lilies and ducklings skidding over the lily pads. I didn't have my camera with me, so I took some images with my iPhone. I hope I can take more photos this autumn.
There are people in this world who have a sudden and lasting affect on you. A picture of this woman struck me the other day on Pinterest. I followed it to her blog, Girl With Curves, and was instantly mesmerized by Tanesha Awasthi's charm, confidence, style, and beauty.
As some of you know from previous posts, I used to have a very different figure. Sometimes I even shopped in the children's section because I was so thin! I have gained weight over the past few years, and having a child has of course changed my body as well. Recently I realized I was falling deeper and deeper into a slump. I wore yoga pants and sweatshirts nearly every day. All of my pretty clothes don't fit me anymore. But I kept thinking, "I'll buy new things once I've lost a little weight."
When I saw Girl With Curves it felt like a light bulb going off in my head. Why did I think I had to lose weight to dress nicely? Where did I get the notion that my style and beauty should be put on hold until I drop a few pounds?
In magazines, and also on Pinterest, you see so many thin women modeling clothing, and I think the image gets ingrained in your mind: sexy, flattering clothing look good on skinny figures. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a trim woman wearing an outfit, and my reaction was, "Sure it looks great on her...look at her body. I could never pull that off with this figure!"
Tanesha states that her biggest motivation for publishing her blog is to help curvaceous women understand that there is no piece of clothing that is taboo for them. Find pieces that are flattering and wear them with confidence.
I haven't worn sleeveless dresses or shirts in years, not since my arms grew softer and rounder and didn't have those chiseled shoulders and biceps that so many Hollywood actresses sport these days anymore. Well, I headed to the mall and bought myself three sleeveless dresses yesterday! I always thought that, with my short, curvy legs, I couldn't pull of skinny jeans. Well, next time I go to the mall, I will be trying some on until I find a pair that fits me, and I promise myself to wear them with pride!
The funny thing is, after browsing the Girl With Curves gallery again and again over the past few days for motivation and inspiration, I saw a picture of a skinny model and she actually looked pretty strange to me. No feminine curves. Why had I always believed that this was the ideal?
The whole way I look at myself, and my body, has undergone a huge change, and I have Tanesha to thank for that.
It's been quite a while, nearly a month, since my last post. I thought of you all often, and have wanted to write about many things in the meantime. When Rafael was a wee little baby, there was so much more opportunity to write and take photos. The older he gets, the less he sleeps, and the more attention he requires, which means that my spare time is for keeping house and spending time with my husband and friends. Or zoning out in a game of Scrabble on my iPhone.
We have a tough few weeks behind us. Many nights where Raffi screamed inconsolably for hours, and days when he cried and fussed. Yes, this little man was doing some serious teething. Three teeth popped out within a matter of days, and he also had an ear infection and a stuffed nose, all thanks to the teething.
In the picture above, he had a high fever. You can tell by his cherry-red cheeks. He was sitting for a few moments in his little 'nest' while I got something done in the kitchen, and he looked so adorable that I had to take a photo. He was playing with his favorite toy: the basket from the salad spinner! Don't let his sweet little smile fool you...a few seconds later he was crying again.
Besides all of the hard times....and they were very hard....there have been so many amazing, heart melting moments. Rafael and I are in love, so so so in love. I don't know how else to describe it. Yesterday he learned how to give me a kiss and I nearly died.