Friday, October 1, 2010

Learning to Make Peace with Imperfect


Look at this picture. It's not perfect. It's out of focus, cropped strangely, and doesn't have very good lighting. But I love it. I remember the evening I took this. My husband and I were baking cookies together on Christmas Eve. I am so glad I didn't erase it just because it isn't perfect.

Looking back on recent posts, it's become clear to me that I have been diligently trying to learn to be imperfect. Or rather, to accept my imperfections. And in a way, befriend them. We love our partner, our friends, our pets, our gardens, our families...and in loving them, also make peace with their imperfections. The most difficult imperfections to embrace are, I believe, our own. 



This past week I was really struggling with myself. When I was making orders for my etsy shop customers, I felt I should be packing. When I was packing, I felt I should be cleaning. When I was cleaning, I felt I should be walking the dogs. When I was walking the dogs, I felt I should be ironing that mountain of laundry. And every evening, when my husband came home, I felt guilty that I hadn't cooked something really good for a man who works hard all day. One night I was so scattered and busy that he ended up eating cold roast chicken leftovers. Period.


For the first time since I opened my two shops, and in a matter of two days, I got complaints from four customers about various problems.


I was feeling totally exasperated, and living on the verge of tears.


I won't go into detail about what happened yesterday; suffice to say that someone had very kind, sincere words for me, and made me feel appreciated. And for some reason, this simple gesture loosened the knot in my stomach and made me feel completely different. 


On the evening walk with the dogs, my spirit refreshed, I called my husband, and told him I was sorry I had been in such a funk lately, and that there hadn't been clean ironed clothes or good hot meals. He laughed and told me it really wasn't a big deal. He said those aren't the kinds of things I should be worried about. The more he spoke and reassured me, the more I smiled and felt at peace. 


Yes, there are still so many things to do, and so many towers of boxes, and so many things that could go wrong. I'm still behind on the ironing, and I there could be another customer complaint waiting in my shop's inbox. I still have my grey roots, I still have these extra 20 pounds, and I still go to bed sometimes and lie there and realize I completely forgot to shower. 


I think I am finally learning to make peace with my own imperfections. 


It helps when the person you love most has made peace with them, too. I love you Ramon.


xoxo country girl

14 comments:

  1. Dearest Dawn, you can never be all things to all people - the most important thing is to be with people who really know, love and appreciate you. They're who matter in the end. You do your best for everyone else and they must make peace with themselves! I deal with the 'general public' as little as possible, everyone has different ideas of perfection, so many have no foresight, flexibility or generosity of spirit, I'm sad to say. That's their problem. You have all these things plus talent & a wonderful heart. Fix on that and just plough on, the good will outweigh the bad. You're a beautiful person. Happy weekend to you, Ramon & the furbabies xoxo

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  2. This is a great post. We've all been there.
    I am glad that you are feeling better.
    Have a great weekend.

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  3. Ok, I loved your post, but the laying in bed forgetting you didn't shower cracked me up! Yup, you are definately a busy woman!

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  4. I have found that being imperfect is what distinguishes us from each other, it gives us our individuality!... I definitely know how you feel when you do one thing and feel like you should be doing the other, it never feels like you are working on the right thing at the moment. I am there most of the time, but I think it is just letting it go that makes it all work. It is hard to create a schedule that fits and stick with it when you work for yourself, especially if you are also trying to move! Good luck with your moving and your etsy shop, I am sure everything will work out...

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  5. Lovely post from a lovely lady! You inspire!

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  6. dawn
    how true....it seems we are always the hardest on ourselves. i have to stop myself often from wishing my life away...that i was thinner, had a smaller nose, fatter lips would be nice, less emotional, more confident......oh but wait. my friends and family love me just as i am.
    lots on the go right now but soon you will be in your new home and unpacking treasures; finding just the right spot for them wondering how you ever managed to get everything packed...but you will!
    i adore your etsy shop...it is sweet & charming and perfectly dawn!
    hugs
    xo.
    k

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  7. Dear Dawn, Happy October!
    Your post was a perfect reminder of what is really important in life. You found the answer which is to accept these little imperfections and remember we are loved. Thanks for the great post!

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  8. I sent jam to a shop a few weeks ago with the wrong labels on the back - so, it happens! we aren't perfect, and when there is no end to chores, work, dinners, etc.. we can falter. It's human. We learn from the mistakes and can only get better.

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  9. YOu probably don't know how many people you are helping just by putting your feelings out there Dawn. I struggle with these feelings daily and sometimes have such a hard time coping...
    I'm sorry that you have been having such a hard week. Sometimes it just piles high doesn't it?
    And for every bad comment you get remember that you have hundreds of happy customers that adore your beautiful buntings. I love mine and everyone who see my set asks about where I got it. It reminds me of you and makes me so happy to look at.

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  10. Life can never be perfect....but imperfections can be beautiful too...that is what makes life so wonderful...and the fact that you are aware of these things...what you write...it makes you seem beautiful to us...xxx

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  11. not being perfect is what we're meant to be; don't worry. we've all been there one way or another. glad you're feeling better.
    hugs

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  12. hello sweet pea....blog hopping this morning i saw this: http://www.theweddingco.com/2010/09/bunting/
    maybe you saw it too....but i was filled with pride for you
    xo
    k

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  13. Dear Dawn, I loved this post! I could have written it! So many times I've felt that I should be doing something different than what I am actually doing. I guess it's part of human nature. We just have to not make a big fuss about it. xxx gio <3

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