Happy Anniversary, My Sweet Husband!

 

Three years ago, on a blustery October day, Ramon and I vowed to love one another and care for one another for eternity.

After the ceremony, we gathered with friends and family in a rustic old lodge, where there was a roaring fire in the stone hearth, and antique tables and chairs; country roses in cream and pink; candles flickering, Frank Sinatra crooning, delicious food served on wood platters, and a three-tiered almond cream cake topped with two tiny millinery birds.

My beloved Godfather, whom I have loved and adored since I was a tiny baby, wasn't able to make the trip overseas. But he sent a speech, and his words for us, read aloud by a dear friend in a moment of silence with only the sound of the crackling fire, are precious and dear to me. They bring tears to my eyes every time I read them. Here is what he wrote:

Dear Dawn,

I've loved you clearly from your birth to the present and now to the beyond. Your happiness and clarity in the years to come are important to me. 

And now...Ramon.

I know you to  be a man of good judgement and sound character, and as you step into Dawn's life and as 'two' exchange vows and are joined in Holy Matrimony, I applaud you both, and have tears of total joy for your future.

Your Godfather and family,

Bob

On our wedding day, our loved ones had so many good wishes for us, and I am overjoyed when I see that they are all coming true.

Lately...

What a breathtaking fall we've been having!

That's muscat de provence pumpkin soup with a dollop of sour cream, a dusting of ground pepper, and a buttery pile of homemade croutons.

I'll share the recipe some day.

xoxo country girl

Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch

Jessie, thank you so much for finding me. Because it helped me find you! Your photographs of life on your family ranch in North Dakota are breathtaking, and your open, honest words are refreshing. I could lose hours following you bareback down grassy trails under that huge North Dakota sky.
It amazes me how blogs are capable of connecting two girls who are so far apart geographically, but so close in terms of heart and soul.


So happy we connected, kindred spirit!


Visit Jessie HERE.


xoxo country girl




all photos copyright of Jessie Veeder Scofield

he flies with angels

This morning I was having my breakfast of toast and coffee, taking a small break from packing, perusing my favorite etsy shops. I stopped by Lovely Sweet William , and when I saw this picture, I burst into tears. I am still crying now as I write this. To me, this is a picture of our son, our little angel baby Blueberry. Flying with the angels. Smiling at me. Telling me he is happy where he is, and that everything is alright. 


I immediately bought this print. It will be placed next to the ultrasound picture we keep lovingly framed by our bed. 


I miss our baby so much.


But at least I know he is up there, flying with the angels, smiling down on us.


xoxo country girl

The Truth About Romance

Taken on our wedding day, October 12, 2007

Our 3rd wedding anniversary is coming up next week, and our 12th anniversary as a couple is coming up in February. I never could have guessed that I would be blessed with true love in this lifetime; this relationship has transformed me and is a huge part of who I am. I recently read an interview with the artist Rob Ryan in Cath Kidston magazine, and his words struck a cord with me:

"People have this idea about romance. To me, romance is seeing an 80-year-old couple...staying together...having a family. I've been with my wife since I was 18, and for me, romance is about the long haul." -Rob Ryan

This is how I feel about love, about romance. 

There is an older couple who takes afternoon walks here on the path that winds around the field, in good weather and bad, and they always hold hands. Seeing them makes me so happy, and I quietly bless them, and feel happy that there are unions like this in the world.

One of the most beautiful things about being with my husband is the feeling that, through our relationship, I am growing into the person I am meant to be. The longer I am with him, the more I feel comfortable in my skin, and the more I feel I am going in the right direction. 

I never completely understood until now what people meant when they said, "He makes me want to be a better person." 

That to me is true romance.

xoxo country girl

Off To Find Fall Treasures

 The woods are thick with the earthy scent of mushrooms these days. We set out with the dogs to see what we could find. Not to harvest and eat, because we don't know enough about them to cook what we find; but just spotting them is fun. Here are some photos of our mushroom adventures!

Hope you have all had the chance to enjoy some fall beauty outdoors this weekend.


Thank you for always leaving such supporting, honest notes for me. I appreciate you all so much!


Happy Sunday,


xoxo country girl

Learning to Make Peace with Imperfect

Look at this picture. It's not perfect. It's out of focus, cropped strangely, and doesn't have very good lighting. But I love it. I remember the evening I took this. My husband and I were baking cookies together on Christmas Eve. I am so glad I didn't erase it just because it isn't perfect.

Looking back on recent posts, it's become clear to me that I have been diligently trying to learn to be imperfect. Or rather, to accept my imperfections. And in a way, befriend them. We love our partner, our friends, our pets, our gardens, our families...and in loving them, also make peace with their imperfections. The most difficult imperfections to embrace are, I believe, our own. 



This past week I was really struggling with myself. When I was making orders for my etsy shop customers, I felt I should be packing. When I was packing, I felt I should be cleaning. When I was cleaning, I felt I should be walking the dogs. When I was walking the dogs, I felt I should be ironing that mountain of laundry. And every evening, when my husband came home, I felt guilty that I hadn't cooked something really good for a man who works hard all day. One night I was so scattered and busy that he ended up eating cold roast chicken leftovers. Period.


For the first time since I opened my two shops, and in a matter of two days, I got complaints from four customers about various problems.


I was feeling totally exasperated, and living on the verge of tears.


I won't go into detail about what happened yesterday; suffice to say that someone had very kind, sincere words for me, and made me feel appreciated. And for some reason, this simple gesture loosened the knot in my stomach and made me feel completely different. 


On the evening walk with the dogs, my spirit refreshed, I called my husband, and told him I was sorry I had been in such a funk lately, and that there hadn't been clean ironed clothes or good hot meals. He laughed and told me it really wasn't a big deal. He said those aren't the kinds of things I should be worried about. The more he spoke and reassured me, the more I smiled and felt at peace. 


Yes, there are still so many things to do, and so many towers of boxes, and so many things that could go wrong. I'm still behind on the ironing, and I there could be another customer complaint waiting in my shop's inbox. I still have my grey roots, I still have these extra 20 pounds, and I still go to bed sometimes and lie there and realize I completely forgot to shower. 


I think I am finally learning to make peace with my own imperfections. 


It helps when the person you love most has made peace with them, too. I love you Ramon.


xoxo country girl