Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Going Grey...Your Thoughts?

"Hair brings one's self-image into focus; it is vanity's proving ground.  Hair is terribly personal, a tangle of mysterious prejudices."  
-Shana Alexander

I had my first grey hair with 16. Since then, I always dyed my hair or at least the roots to cover up the grey. It's my Hungarian heritage...all the women on my mother's side went prematurely grey. 

Ever since we brought our new puppy Boston home, I haven't been to the salon, and by now I have a good inch of grey hair at the base, mostly on the sides of my forehead.

I kept pestering myself about getting to the salon. Hiding the grey has alway felt like something I 'HAVE' to do. You can't be this young and walk around the grey hair! That's what I told myself. I grew up watching my mom cover up her roots and color her hair religiously, and she always let me know when there was the slightest bit of grey peeking out on my head. Sometimes I would see pictures of gorgeous women with grey and silver hair, and I would show it to my mom, suggesting she let her natural color grow out, but she insisted it would just make her look old. She said she was still too young to walk around with a head of grey hair.

I'm turning 30 this upcoming February, and yesterday I began contemplating my greys. I thought about this need to cover them up, and the idea that a woman can't be sexy or beautiful if she has grey hair. I thought about all the actresses and models out there who are over 30 and most certainly have at least some grey hair, but you would never see those silvers peeking out even for an instant. And I wondered if I was ready to go natural.

For some reason, it's a really scary thought. Maybe because I have been shown and told all my life that grey hair on a woman is something undesired. 

But the thought of constantly feeling the need and pressure to cover up something that is natural to me, that is a part of me, is a scary thought, too. 

So...what's your relationship to your greys? 

I can't wait to hear from you.

xoxo country girl


  1. Because of my Austrian heritage, like you I started to go grey young. I was 25 when I first saw grey hair. I think grey hair is a thing of beauty and do believe in growing old gracefully and am not ashamed of getting older, BUT I do admit that I do cover it up. My reasons - I was 30 when I got married and 35 when my first child was born, 37 with my second. Now in my forties my children are still very young and taking them to school I see all the "young" mothers in their twenties and I don't want my children EVER to be asked: "Is that your grandmother?" I do it for me yes, but I do it for them too. I want to stay young for them as long as I can and looking younger makes me feel younger. So I say - do what makes you FEEL good and happy about yourself. If you are HAPPY in yourself then those who love you will be happy too. As to your photo - GORGEOUS! Grey or not...you look great.

  2. I never dyed my hair until it started getting grey. I am 47 and that was around 40. My natural color was dark so my grey hairs showed immediately. I tried some different colors but I have dyed them in my natural color now. I think some women have beautiful grey hair, but not mine. It does make me look much older and I'm afraid I am not ready for that yet.

    Warm regards from Luxembourg,


  3. I've also got loads of grey hair here and there but I don't think I'm quite ready to go all grey though!

  4. Your natural beauty would compliment any grey hairs, you are blessed that way! I'm not, so for my own personal best, I must dye mine till I can accept the fact that I shouldn't. I'm 51 and haven't come to that point yet.

  5. A sign of wisdom they are...so I have my handful prominently displayed. I admit that I may have had a slight meltdown when the first one appeared but I've gotten past that ;)

    You are beautiful!

    one love.

  6. Well, I knew we were connected somehow... You are soooo beautiful in that photo!! I had my first grey hair when I was 15 (and my hair color then was almost black. In my mid-20's, I started dying my hair, but decided to just go natural when I was 29. Since then, I've never looked back. I make sure I have a fun and "young" hair cut, but by now I love my grey hair. And you won't believe how many times I get asked where I get my hair dyed silver so beautifully.... I'd say do what you feel comfortable with, but know that you are beautiful either way!! Love, Silke

  7. I just wanted to say how beautiful you look in the photo! Absolutely beautiful! As for going gray...I'm all for it! My mother is also Hungarian and has wonderful salt 'n pepper hair. She has never dyed it and she has a very natural look...beautiful. I started getting a few gray hairs when I turned 40 (I'm now 41) and I'm excited about them. I have no plans of coloring my hair at all. I've always said I want to grow old gracefully. And to top things off, my husband LOVES them! I feel great and I'm comfortable with the way I look.

  8. To dye or not to dye? I have always felt there is nothing wrong with giving mother nature a helping hand. I just feel better when I color my hair. It went grey early and I didn't think the color of the grey was very flattering on me.
    That's my two cents.
    You are beautiful and would be with or without the grey.

  9. I have to say, that is the most beautiful picture that I've seen of you on this blog. With or without grey (it's a matter of comfort! I haven't made that decision yet either...), you will be beautiful.

  10. I think it looks kinda pretty! Some people's coloring actually looks GOOD with grey. You seem to be one of those people...

    Plus, I think it should be called SILVER. Not "grey." :)

  11. My gosh Dawn you are so gorgeous. What a lovely photo. I believe what everyone else has said, it is very much a personal decision, how you feel with yourself.
    It was a little easier for me being blonde, but i am not this blonde. I started going grey in my late 30's but like you, felt too young. I would let it go thinking it would "grow" on me. But when i'd catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror i'd think ugh. So i keep adding blonde. One of my best friends is a man (who runs a talent agency in L.A., he is horrified when he sees grey in my hair, he says its awful and i'm too young(i'm not). It makes me laugh, but it makes me think too).

    i do think i'm getting close to going natural though. I love silver on other women (Silke!) It does bring up alot of thought and emotion in women doesn't it?

    Whatever you choose, you are beautiful.


  12. Hi Dawn - I haven't got any yet (I'm 37, so I'm sure they're coming), but I have to be honest, I wouldn't hesitate to cover them up with a hair colour, in fact I wouldn't even have to think too hard about it.

    Your photo looks really lovely.


  13. Oh Dawn...I just know whatever you decide to do you will continue to be 'beautiful'!!! When my hair started to turn gray..lots of people would ask if I was frosting my hair and I always told them "yep..me and the good Lord".. ~smile~

    xoxo Gert

  14. ~*You are stunning..with or without gray you are a true beauty!!~* You need to do what you are most comfortable with~* Hugs,Rachel

  15. i'm 75% or more gray if i let it be natural - i say yes, my sister says no, so i let it be dyed every six weeks. it's time.

  16. Dawn, I echo everyone else - you are such a gorgeous girl! Wow! Ok, that aside - I recently went ultra platinum blonde. I've always been fair, but my hair is very short & when it was last cut it looked...dull, dull, dull. It's not the grey/silver i mind - if I was like Silke, I would be happy! It's the mousey nondescript rest of it.Together with the grey temples... Just made me look and feel frumpy & old. So I went for a very drastic option and have never had so many compliments! It wouldn't be right for everyone of course...I truly think you should do whatever you feel is right for YOU! You are beautiful beautiful beautiful. xo Rachel

  17. Hello Dawn,

    I think you should try leaving it au natural, just to see how you feel about it. All that matters is your comfort level. If you don't like it, you can always color it. I got my first grey hairs in highschool too. Didn't really bother me when i had one here, one there. But when I started to get more, and more, it kinda made me feel older. It feels nice to go to the salon and color my roots. Makes me look younger. Although, I am not religious about it. Sometimes have gone a few months without coloring. But I actually told myself, just this month, I have to take care of myself and treat myself to a day at the salon every 4-6 weeks. I am going to try to do that. But you are gorgeous, and will always be, with or without the grey! xoxo

  18. I have a very uncomfortable relationship with my greys. I dyed my hair all sorts of crazy colors long before I started going grey, and so didn't even realize it when the first ones started to appear, probably when I was around 30. Now that I'll be 43 in a couple of weeks, I have lots and lots of grey hair. Like you, much of it is at my temples. I'm not ready to go natural yet, even though some of my friends have. One of my friends who is younger than I has gone completely silver, and I LOVE her hair. She stopped dyeing it about 2 years ago, and I'm so glad that she did. I laugh at myself for spending so much money on getting my hair dyed every six weeks. That's a lot of money, plus a lot of time in the hair salon--silly me! Yet, like Rosinda said, I feel like it's the one thing I do to treat myself. I think you, Dawn, should do what feels good to you. You are gorgeous, and whatever feels comfortable will look fabulous.

    I'm rambling! Maybe I need to write a post on this, too!!! :)

  19. Oh Dawn- this post makes me love you that much more....thank you for talking about the untalkable....which is stupid because we all go grey at some point right?
    I too come from a family where greys show up in our teens...and ever since have been dying my hair.
    About a year or two ago I stopped doing it all together and let my greys come in....but I started to feel too young to have greys also and recently went back to colouring. Now I am like you, lax on it but I still do cover my greys when I feel the need to.

  20. i can't even focus on your hair because your EYES are just stunning!!! dawn you are just gorgeous. i say if you want to hang on to the beautiful brunette for a few more years then go for it, but if you feel like you're brave and comfortable enough to go stunning silver then do it! i have always thought that women with that silvery white or grey hair look so lovely. unfortunately in my family it is really like a mousy grey so i probably won't have the luxury of feeling comfy in my grey skin :)

  21. just last night i told my husband that my grey hair is starting to come in, the one or two i used ot be able to pull out( yes i know) are now more like a dozen or more. I have always wondered what i would do since, i have never died my hair and really never even worn makeup. i at 39 am supposed to start dyeing it? i have always admired woman with grey hair something about it strong and beautiful about it. i have a head of curly hair a lot of it the idea ic ould not imagine the upkeep yet i do not now if i am ready- i think if i had almost a full head of it i would be okay with but just a few patches here and there i am not sure...

    i think you are lovely and grey with your blue eyes would be stricking and you look so youthful for almost thirty anyways!

  22. So what did you finally decide? Would love to see pictures!

  23. You look beautiful!

  24. I know this is a few years over due. I'm 22, and going gray. When my mom had me at 32, she was over 75% gray (she had black hair so it blended in beautifully, like salt and pepper) I however have brown hair and the grays stick out in an unflattering way. I have decided that if it gets bad enough I will try out blonde for a while... yet at the same time I'm scared to let go of my natural hair color, I love it in the summer when it gets its natural highlights...something I can never achieve when dyed. I'm still undecided, for the moment I've began plucking the white/gray hairs.



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