Monday, February 8, 2010

pinks and jewels and hard times, too

This weekend my husband and I had alot to talk about.
It wasn't easy. 
This isn't an easy time.
Actually, ever since we lost our baby in November, we've been struggling to keep our chins up and our spirits high. Deep winter and lack of sunshine doesn't help matters, either.
We have moments of laughter...we laugh alot actually. 
But there is this underlying discontent...this sadness which fills the quiet moments.
My husband works so hard, and it hurts my heart to see him unhappy, and feeling drained.
Questioning his work, questioning if this is how he should be spending his life. 
How things will evolve and change, only time will tell.
Sometimes there are decisions which are so hard to make.
But I know one thing for sure: as long as we have eachother, we are going to be ok. 
We don't need a big apartment to be happy.
So many times in my life, I thought I knew where I was going, what it was all about.
And so many times, life reminded me that this isn't a book which is written and finished, with a clear plot and a beginning, middle, and end that I can just read and understand. 
There is so much still unwritten!

So, the weekend was a mixture of long, scary talks...scary meaning they were revealing and left so much yet to be decided....and laughter. Yes, laughter! I don't know how, but the two of us seem to be able to laugh even on the darkest days.

Above are some more pinks for you to enjoy....even my organic milk delivery came wrapped in pink newspaper this week! That made me smile.

And below is a little peek at my *Gift of Jewels* parcel which I sent off to it's deserving recipient last week. I can't wait to hear if she likes everything! It was alot of fun to put together, and looked so pretty in all that tissue paper, sparkly with white and silver and hearts, that I had to snap a photo of it to share with you all. 

So that's what's going on over here in my life. Turmoil, laughter, love, questions....
Sending out a hug and kiss to all of you...hope your weekends were relaxing and sweet.

xoxo country girl


  1. Oh, sweetie, I am sorry you are having such turmoil in your life. Looking back on my life, I now realize that those times can be the greatest changing force in your life. Even though it's hard, those times often allow you to see things with clearer eyes. I am so glad you both have each other through your sadness and the changes in your life. Sending you a big hug and much love, Silke

  2. Dearest Dawn, if you have love & laughter then the rest will fall into place. Keep strong, all that you wish will come to you. You'
    re good & dear people xoxo LOVE Rachel

  3. Hello lovely lady! I hope that things get better for you, I know it isn't fun, but sometimes the hard times make us stronger and sometimes they make it so the good times are that much better and that much more appreciated... I wish you all of the smiles and love in the world!

  4. Hey Dawn,

    I'm sending you & Ramon a smile from across the world. I'm so sorry that you're having hard times right now. You have so many people who care. Keep laughing with your hubby- it's good that you have each other.


  5. I'm right beside you hun with the difficult weekend...haven't shared it yet but plan to...was just a bit reluctant at first but I think I will as it is honest/open/me...not a pretence...

    I'm so glad that you are your husband still manage to find things to laugh important laughter can

  6. dearest dawn,
    these trying times are challenging but will make you and your love stronger. hold tight to one another and keep laughing...
    i've been having a hard time finding things to say in my little blog...maybe inspiration will come soon...?
    a cold winter day here...i'll bundle up and be thinking of you! i should say today would be a great day to talk, cry and laugh over coffee...though for another time perhaps!
    have a sweet day my friend...
    {i love that your milk came wrapped in pink...that made me smile too}

  7. I love that even in the darkest of days that you are still laughing with your husband and looking for beauty through your camera lens.
    As mentioned before- these hard times often are your greatest learning and growing moments. In a strange way we almost need to accept and embrace the darkness to really move forward.
    Always thinking of you. xox

  8. Sending you big hugs and a special prayer. You are right as long as you have each other to lean on, laugh, cry and carry one another adds a ray of sunshine and hope. xo

  9. P.S. you now have 70 friends following. smile...

  10. You and your husband went through a trauma. This always opens the door for reflection and questioning. I get the sense that the two of you will come out the other side of this stronger. Take care of yourself.

  11. ((hugs)) the ability to laugh, even when at the darkest point is the sign of a wonderful relationship. you two will be either other's strength and comfort.

  12. sorry you are going through such a hard time. :( It's wonderful that you both are still able to laugh, and are starting to talk. Your positive attitude in spite of hardship is refreshing. Good luck to you!

  13. I am so happy that you two can find laughter together, so important even during the hard times.

  14. My sweet friend..I am so sorry that you are having a hard time...

    know that everyone goes through good and bad in life..and i don't know why..but things just seem to work out...

    when we lived in Cambria we struggled for months trying to make the decision to move back to SLO...40 minutes south...and leaving a brand new large home..which wasn't my style into a small old farmhouse...

    after my mom died i stayed in bed for a year watching t.v. literally. i was depressed and felt so alone...john suggested we move back to SLO to be closer to friends and family. Cambria can be very is a very small retirement community...and even though SLO is 40 minutes can feel like hours away ....

    we made the decision to sell the house...that john had built and come SLO...and it was the most difficult move of my life....going from huge to tiny was hard,and then remodeling while living in it...there were days i just sat down and cried....i didn't think i would ever feel good again...but the days passed..the darkness lifted and i feel good...john and i love it had it's way of working just did...

    know you have all of us here for you.
    We all love you and care about you.

    Take Care...sending hugs across the sea...


  15. My darling Dawn, I am so sorry to hear about your hard times, all you need is love and the rest will find its right place in time.
    All your pink is beautiful and the gift if jewels girl is certainly very lucky to receive all of those little pretties :)
    Ooh and I have just replied to your email
    Lots of love
    Morwenna xoxo

  16. I'm so sorry you had to go through that pain. You're so blessed with your husband (and Kiki!) And the fact that your laughter has not diminished shines so much hope upon your life♥

  17. My dear Dawn,

    You have a giant web of friends who care about you and hope only good comes to you.

    Now is the time to cuddle next to Ramon, lift your chin, bake cookies, walk Kiki, and laugh at yourself even when you feel like crying.

    I think the hardest times are when you don't have someone to whom you can voice your sorrow, but you do have someone.

    With love,


  18. Ooh forgot to say that I love how rock and roll your mum and dad are in the photo on your pin board xoxo

  19. The more bravery and laughter in the turmoil - the better it will be.... once it is over! Best Wishes while you and Ramon are doing the hard yards in the middle of it Dawn!

  20. I was sorry to read about your weekend, but know you both have such love that you will be fine and come out better and stronger in the end. There are so many times "we" think we know what is best for us only to find out there was a better plan for us all along. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. And Kiki of course too...

    xoxo Gert

  21. PS Wish I were the recipient of your Valentine! Looks absolutely lovely!!!

  22. Your loving attitude for your husband is really so lovely, you are both lucky to have each other.
    You are right to say that life is an ever changing unwritten script. My husband says there are always going to be bumps and i know he's right, but like you and your husband we face things together, do what we can and let it go.
    I am so sorry for your heartache, I do know that pain so well, my first baby was lost at 8 weeks and i'll never forget that feeling. Time is a great softener of all things and it will help you with your loss too.
    wishing you all the best,

  23. Losing someone is so difficult that only those who have been personally affected by it understand. I have lost two pregnancies that I carried well into my second trimester, and in between them, I almost lost my mom to cancer. When I finally gave birth to a healthy baby, my best friend's two month old little girl died.
    It's amazing how strong love ties are. Your husband and you will pull through. You love each other intensely, and that love will get you through it all.
    God bless you both and comfort you, and fill your spirits with peace.

  24. Sending lots of love and comfort your way. Prayers sent up.

    p.s. your jewel is smashing.



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