Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I've got my love to keep me warm

My husband is a hard worker. He started out with nothing. We both started out with nothing. But we had each other, and because our beginnings were hard, we were given something great: the knowledge that we really only need love to keep us glued together.
When I first moved into a little apartment with Ramon, we didn't have a kitchen for the first two years. I cooked on a double hot plate on top of a mini refrigerator and washed our dishes in the bathroom sink. We dreamed of a functional kitchen where I could bake and wash the dishes, and looked through catalogues, worked extra hours and saved up money until we had enough for the a tiny yellow kitchen with a wooden work top and a deep white sink from Ikea. Do you know how much we appreciated that little kitchen? I jumped up and down when it was installed, and immediately baked up a batch of chocolate chip cookies.
For the the first year we also didn't have a washing machine. I would carry our dirty laundry two blocks down, under sweltering sun or pelting rain, to his parent's house, where I would wash our loads and then bring them home wet to hang dry around the apartment. Then one day we got lucky and his sister gave us her old machine to use because she bought a new one. Being able to take our dirty clothes from the hamper in the bedroom to the washing machine in the kitchen felt like an absolute luxury!
I worked as a waitress in a coffee shop during the day, and Ramon was on his feet all night working security at night clubs, and spent the days starting up his own company. Sometimes we only saw one another getting on and off the bus to and from work. I had to work on Christmas, he had to work on New Year's Eve. It was a rough start.
And yet, what an amazing gift that rough start was. My husband's film company began taking off, and eventually we were able to buy nice clothing, pay for a lovely wedding, and move into a larger apartment; I was able to quit my job and stay at home to paint, write, blog, and take care of everything domestic; we can afford weekly fresh flowers and organic groceries, vacations and fun gadgets. But more importantly....we have that rough start to remind us what is really important: the love we have for each other. 
I like to think that, if we lose everything, if something goes wrong, if God has other plans for us down the road, if we are meant to cook on a hot plate and wash dishes in the bathroom sink again....we will still be OK. It wouldn't be the dream of course. But I just like knowing that we have those roots, that solid foundation, that absolute knowing that we are together because of our love. We loved each other when we had nothing to give on another but love, and that was enough to keep us together. So it will always be enough.
These are the thoughts I am having at Christmas time, when there is so much gift giving and money spending. Any gifts we give one another are just material examples of our true feelings; they are the cherry on top. They're fun, but not necessary.
I feel so lucky to have this man in my life. And so lucky that I am the woman he wants in his. And I hope it will stay that way for a long, long time.

8 comments:

  1. I don't believe I need to say anything - you've said it all so beautifully! God Bless and Merry Christmas!

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  2. What a wonderful love story, Dawn. And it encapsulates the real meaning of Christmas, love, undiluted, unconditional love. Bless you both this Christmas and in the year to come. I have a feeling you'll be fine! xoxo Rachel

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  3. dawn...so beautifully written..

    John and I have lived in so many different houses...from castles to sheds....really. Literally. But no matter where we have lived ..I have loved. My mom used to say.."no matter where you are..you just make your spot." And she was right.

    When we left Cambria in the summer of 2007..we went from a HUGE modern house to a TINY ..really run down cottage..that needed MAJOR remodeling. People thought we were crazy. But I knew that this cottage once redone would be the home I would want to live in. I wanted white beadboard, not drywall, a real fireplace that burns wood, not a fire that you turn on with the flip of a light switch, I wanted an old stove, not a modern one, white kitchen cupboards, not oak, pine floors, old wooden windows, a small fruit orchard, a garden, bookshelves filled with all my books...I wanted COZY. It took 2 and a half years and we are almost there. It wasn't easy. Some days when we were painting and it was 100 degrees in here, I would just sit down and cry. But we made it...and we love it.

    There is a place up in Big Sur called Deetjens Big Sur Inn. It is our favorite place. And we tried to get that look and feeling here.

    They have a web site. Go see it. I know you'll love it too...

    John and I are making a cozy dinner here tonight for the two of us...on the eve of eve....

    Merry Christmas Eve to you Ramon and Kiki....

    Love,
    Kary and Buddy
    xxx

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  4. I don't think I can articulate any better than the lovely girls above me have already! Love as always to you, Ramon and Kiki
    Merry Christmas eve eve
    Love Morwenna
    xoxoxo

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  5. I love your priorities Dawn!
    Best Wishes for a very special Christmas.

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  6. This is a lovely post...I wish my ex realised your wisdom! Oh well...I'm sure I'll find it one day! I got home today and received your card and four leaf clover...so sweet...I love it! You are a wonderful person...and you deserve to live the dream and have all the happiness you seek. Merry Christmas and lots of love xxx

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  7. I love spending Christmas at home with my mum and brother and dogs. We are snowed in and so I am spending lots of time with them which is nice.
    Merry Christmas!
    Lucy xx

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  8. I love this post. I also know this kind of love, you speak of- it has made me such a better person.
    You inspire me.
    xoxo
    Merry Christmas, dear one.
    xo

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