Thursday, January 7, 2010

Today.... home

...outside my heart and on my mind

how are all of you today? how is the year treating you so far? do you think this one is already going by amazingly fast like i do?
i am introspective today. missing my baby. feeling a little lost. trying to be hopeful, and at the same time be accepting of whatever shall be and shall not be. though i can't help feeling afraid that 2010 will pass without bringing us a much-hoped-for healthy child to hold and love. 
i buy flowers and trudge through snow-covered fields looking for beauty, looking for something to make me feel optimistic and energized. knowing that i am blessed, that we are blessed...and that sometimes blessings come in the form of not getting what you wish for with all your heart...
...still, i hope that life will be kind and gentle with me, with us, with you, this year. i know it's important to learn and grow. but i also know that i need the universe to show me good times and the sunny side of life for a while.
thinking of you, and hoping your hearts are feeling brighter today than mine...
xo your country girl


  1. Dear Dawn,
    Wishing I could give you a big hug and tell you everything going to be alright. Life gives us challenges and also the sweetest surprizes when you least expect them. May your spirit lift just as you have lifted mine and many others with your beautiful descriptions and pictures. Thinking of you,

  2. Dearest Dawn, I can't add much to the above, save to say that your dark clouds will lift & the sun will shine again. Someone as lovely as you will have the happiness you deserve. Have faith & hang on.It will all come to you. With love xoxo Rachel

  3. My dear Dawn.... sometimes we wonder.....
    what is this new year is going to bring....I wonder if the stillness of winter causes us to reflect more....

    Have hope, my friend. Know you are loved.

    Kary and Buddy

  4. Hey Dawn,

    Your words: 'sometimes blessings come in the form of not getting what you wish for with all your heart...' bring me comfort right now on this day when I have been weak and not strong about moving forwards...these words provide another way of seeing things - definitely for me in my situation because I think what I wish for with all my heart is not right for me at this moment in time but maybe it will be so later manifesting itself in a different form for a different person... but, for you, in your current situation, I truly do hope you get all you wish for. How about this? I'll wish for it too for you...and in return you can wish for me to find the right love so I may one day have some of the things you already have... If two of us are wishing maybe that will help these wishes along a bit - so that they may come true? :)

    Ah I don't know...I'm being silly can't always be a warrior...even warriors need rest...or let down their guard at times... I think we are both having a break today in this respect... but just know I'm thinking of you... and hoping all the time! xxx

  5. Beautiful words and images...
    I don't exactly know why, but I was thinking of you and your baby this morning (together with my best friend and her lost babies) and prayed that this will be the year for you to hold your healthy baby tight.

  6. sending you hugs.

  7. Hi Dawn,

    First of all, it’s such a pleasure reading your blog, so thank you :).

    My husband and I have been trying for a little one for quite some time now (of course, I have been wishing and hoping since I was a little girl :)). In general, I am a very positive person, though lately, every month, I get that same pang of sadness and discouragement. I feel so very lucky to have my husband, my dog and supportive family, but I feel like our family is not complete and I know that there is so much that we can and want to give to a child. I’ve been completely consumed by it. I cannot even begin to imagine what you have gone through recently- I am so very, very sorry. I want to thank you though, especially on days like today, for your words of hope. You seem like a very strong & kind person and you remind me that the future is bright, even when the present sometimes seems gray.

    I’m keeping my fingers crossed that 2010 is the year, for both your family and mine. In the meantime, thank you for your words & inspirations.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Blair :)

  8. i send you sunshine, my friend.

  9. hi country girl. :)
    thanks for the comment you left me, I'm glad to be of inspiration. :) I wish you all the best this year too, and i hope life treats you well.

    I'm sorry to read what you write here, even if it did lift my spirit (that part was the encouraging words and about being blessed :)). Did I understand correctly - you lost a child? I'm so very sorry. :/ I like to believe that all things happen for a reason, and hopefully that reason comes to show some day.

    I hope 2010 will be a liiittle slower than 2009, cause that year just flew by. So far 2010 has been nothing but snow, more snow and freeeezing cold weather (about -20 celsius). Yup, freezing.

    Have a great day. :)

  10. My darling Dawn, I cannot add any more to what the lovely girls above have already said, other than to say that you are always in my heart and in mind and I am always here for you xoxo

  11. Sweet sad it makes me, to hear your heart is heavy with longing for your angel faced baby child.
    Also glad, to see that in this time of longing and preparation for the eventual arrival, you take care of yourself, sharing with the world your by honest day.
    Your words are encouraging and show what happens in daily life.
    Not like in a movie, where after trauma, it says "two years later"...and we don't know what actually happened.

    This is what happens.
    And you write about it.

    Thank you for showing us.
    It takes courage to be real and feel all our feelings uncensored, raw.

  12. a beautiful post full of emotion, love and truth. feeling sad for and with you my friend...
    much love & plenty of hugs sent your way



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