Early Morning

The deck is finally finished in our small backyard. It took longer and was more expensive than originally estimated, but we've agreed that it was worth it. Yesterday evening, when the carpenters packed up the last of their tools, collected their money, and left me with this clean expanse of fresh wood, I felt relief sweep over me. There is something very exhausting about having workers at home.

Last night I slept better than I have in a long time, and awoke refreshed at 5:30. Ramon woke up too, and after talking about our dreams and cracking a few jokes we decided we wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. So we started our day early instead.

After a lovely breakfast with the usual eggs, bacon, fruit, and toast, Ramon showered and left for work. I took a blanket out to our new wooden deck and the dogs followed me.

The air was fresh and there was the perfect wind blowing through the trees lining the banks of the river which hugs our apartment. Dragonflies dipped over the running water and a woodpecker hammered on a dead limb. The dogs sat with me on the bench and it appeared they were feeling the peace and tranquility of the morning, too. They sniffed the air and we watched leaves and insects fly on the wind. As always I was grateful to have these two little souls to share the moment with.

We stumbled on video footage of Boston and Kiki last night, from the days when Boston was a puppy. It was incredible to see him, so tiny next to Kiki. So clumsy, with a pink hairless belly and sharp little needle teeth. I remembered being frustrated sometimes because he peed on the floor and didn't understand commands yet. But now all of that seemed like a drop in the bucket of time. It was a lesson for me to not get too overwhelmed by moments of frustration with baby Rafael when he is here. With dirty diapers and crying and frequent feedings. One day he'll be a big boy telling me not to hug him in front of his friends, and all that will be so far away and almost forgotten. Or at the very least unimportant. So when I am on the verge of tears and feel like my life will forever revolve around baby poop and scarce sleep, I will really try to remember: this too shall pass.

Now I'm sitting out here on the deck again, having showered, cleaned the apartment, and walked the dogs. Rafael is very active today, making my belly roll and jump and slope to one side. Sometimes I am overcome with impatience, just wanting to be able to hold him and study his face. But I know these last two months will soar by, and he will be in my arms soon enough.