Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Thoughts on a Stormy Day
It's a cold and windy day. Clocks tick louder on days like these, in the quiet of the home, and this sweatshirt feels so soft and comforting. The dogs are sleeping on the couch while the wind rages outside, and I wonder if it will rain.
I just watched this video and it made me think about the new journey waiting for me: Motherhood. Because this woman's challenges are so much greater and more profound than mine, and on top of it all, she is also a mother. Sometimes I get caught up in worrying about whether or not I will be up for the challenge, and I sometimes lose myself in fretting about small details. When really, in my heart, I know that this will be the most meaningful and wonderful thing I will ever do.
Sometimes other people's bitterness gets under my skin, and I start thinking like they do, start thinking that life is ordinary with spats of hardship. But that's not really me, and not how I want to think or see things or live.
I want to live each day fully aware and grateful for all of my blessings. I want to live consciously, full of optimism and steady faith. I want to find humor in things, to laugh a lot, to not get consumed by my emotions, even when I am totally overwhelmed, because of my firm conviction that it will pass.
I want to be someone who gives (even if it's just a smile, a hug, or a kind word); who creates; who takes the time to listen and understand. I want to be a mother who cherishes each day with her child, who exists in full awareness of the passing of time and the immense worth of the moment. I don't want to complain. I don't want, for a second, to confuse the simplicity and daily rhythms of my life with banality or staleness. I want to be grateful for every day where I have the love and support of my husband, the miracle of my child, the company of my dogs, the warmth of my home, and the blessing of my purpose.
And I want to remember that my purpose as a wife and mother, though it may seem dull to someone else, is very special, and should be pursued with enthusiasm, joy, and gratitude.