Saturday, July 16, 2011

The Firsts of Things



The American who sells flowers at the farmer's market every Friday had the first sunflowers this week. I bought seven, wrapped in newspaper and heavy in my arms, and now they stand, sunny and tall, on the dining table. I love the firsts of things....the first sunflowers, the first colorful heirloom tomatoes, the first pumpkins, the first chill in the air that makes you put on the first sweater of the season. The first snow. I'm getting ahead of myself now.

While I long for cool autumn days and the birth of my son, I know I should instead be enjoying the moment and taking advantage of these final weeks of independence. Some mothers give the advice, "Go on dates with your husband; go to the movies. Take long baths and sleep as much as you can. Meet friends at the cafè. Read books." All things they claim will be impossible once your first baby is born. So I'm trying to do those things.

When my husband's cousin was in her final month, she started getting antsy, and I kept saying all those things that people say, like how she should enjoy her last month of freedom. But now I'm eating my words, and I'm not even in the final month yet. I didn't think I would be an impatient pregnant woman. It's taken me by surprise how time seems to be going at a snail's pace, how this summer seems like one endless stretch of heat!

I stare at Rafael's ultrasound picture, his sweet profile where you can see his tiny nose and lips, and I just keep wondering what it will be like to see his face for the first time. Will it be instant recognition? Will I fall in love? Will I cry and think he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen?

6 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Don't think of it as losing your freedom, but gaining a partner to share it all with! So many more sweet "firsts" to come! :)

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  3. It's such a time of anticipation. My only advice is to be in the moment. If all you can do is day dream about Rafael, then that's perfectly okay. Soon your life will change, but you've been looking forward to that change for a long long time.
    I remember keeping busy by doing lots of crafts and painting. It might sound crazy...but why not start on some homemade Xmas gifts (or paintings)....you might not have the time in a few months.
    Thinking of you! xox

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  4. Johanna...I was actually considering my christmas cookies and freezing them, since I know I won't have time once the baby is here! :)
    Thanks for the advice.
    xoxo

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  5. Oh Dawn...how I love those 'sunflowers'..I'm sure you are really enjoying them!!

    Always remember the waiting and anticipation only make the end...total sweetness...smile... this precious little boy is growing each day and 'soon' will be with you and you will recognize him, hug him and love him for the rest of your life!

    Blessings...
    xoxo Gert

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  6. I believe you will find time for making Christmas cookies, lol! My experience has been that newborns sleep a lot, in fact sometimes I would tip toe into the room to see if everything was okay, because each of my sons slept great! It's when they are starting to walk that life becomes a little challenging.
    You'll love motherhood and be able to manage life just fine. I was able to still go out and meet friends when my husband would take over for a few hours. When we wanted an outing we all went together as a family. Everything will workout fine.

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